another paper gone. sigh. i felt suffocated right before the exam but i can't decide if it was because i was running before that or it was because of my anxiety. sigh. and right after the exam, although i am starving (no proper meal since last night till now), i thought i could just collapse and sleep on my bed (deprived of sleep too). but she was there almost crying in pain. sigh. she said she got food poisoning and started talking about conspiracies of my friends trying to kill her. sigh. somebody tried cooking and made her tried the experiment. sigh. poor her.

there are times when i am depressed and i don't dare to go look for the counselor. she's kinda scary. the last time i remember seeing her, she was more worked up than me when she realised i got depression. as if if there is a super potion that can cure me instantly, she is ready to go get it even if it's in some remote corner of Earth. She is too enthusiastic and it feels rather scary. it always feel like she is ready to drag me to somewhere to start working on my problems. and she insisted on ideas all the time. 'Dance! make sure you dance! or do any exercise when you feel sad!' <--- she said it with super big and serious eyes and body ready to dance with me. i am scared of her... ...

and she always ask what do i really want when i go look for her. she said since i go and look for her, it would means i want help and she keep asking me how she can help me... ... i know i am depressed... ... i just need somebody to talk to... ... that's all. there are times she is so aggressive that i just want to run out of the counseling room. but sigh... ... she looks new to that profession i really don't want to hurt her... ... i don't dare to tell her too. i am afraid she might take it too hard. sigh.

Dear Dear is the best!!! haha. :D i like it when she hugs me tight and at times wait patiently just for me to kiss her. :D she is the best!!! hahahaha

Categories: smile with a frown? [t]

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