i cried and i cried and i cried.sometimes,i really hate myself for being so sensitive.i hate myself for being able to feel how others feel so easily and able to detect feelings so easily.i hate myself for being so 'understanding'.

someone can just sit beside me quietly,and i'll be there to destroy the peace.i'll start guessing his thoughts,his feelings and cruelly take his mask away;make him cry,make him sad and make him face what he has been hiding and avoiding.and i'll be there to watch him cry......

a friend could sit beside me and start crying sadly.minutes later,i would go away as far as i could,for i know i'll be crying next if she don't stop.people around me affect me greatly,for i might be happy when they are happy but i'll be sad when they are sad,even when it's none of my business......

i always guess their feelings through their expressions and actions and sometimes,from their stories,and the sad part is that my first guess is mostly right.and that means they can't hide much from me......

they told me it's a good thing,for they need not hide anything from me,a more relaxed feeling.and they can always find me to be their listener,for without much words,i could pretty much guess what happened,and without much tears,we'll be sitting down thinking of solutions or having me to comfort them......

but i dislike it.i am just crying too easily,making my eyes swollen and red when what happen is far from my business.no matter what i do,i am always ending up crying,unless i force myself hard not to cry.and i guess this is pretty much my fault for i am always poking into other's problems(which is totally uncontrollable).and because i am always there to make them face the unwanted reality without them offending me... ... ... ...

Categories: my life [t]

*hugs c-s-y tightly*
It's okay to be like that.. Sometimes your ability is a plus point though most of the time it's a minus point because you're able to put yourself in their shoe so well that you feel like you're the one experiencing all the things. I'm not good at understanding nor advising as for all I know is how to offend people. I guess the best thing you should do is not stay away from your friends but to help your friends but try not to understand their situation too well to the point that you exhaust yourself emotionally and physically.
» Nuttz on 2007-02-24 12:37:44

Are you pmsing? I get more sensitive and cry-ful around that time.
» kKAMa67 on 2007-02-24 02:54:22

what is pmsing??
» c-s-y on 2007-02-25 12:56:48

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